Nishta,
How to describe you and how I feel about you?
You, my sweet passionate girl, are a mountain stream full of snow-melt in springtime that cannot WAIT to get down the mountain to the unknown far-off destination, not caring or knowing what you will find there, only full of all the promise of untold adventures along the way. You rush along through life heedlessly, full of boundless energy and passion, often angry and frustrated at the rocks and trees that get in your way, forcing your waters to back and eddy and find a different direction. So full of excitement and the joy of simply being able to rush down the mountain, you sometimes unintentionally run rough-shod over and around things, never meaning to cause harm but just too excited to be gentle. You simply cannot be contained.
Indeed my greatest challenge with you is to not squash your outrageous spirit. All too often it feels like I am constantly correcting you, saying no, telling you how to behave differently. And I am working on it, working on channeling and directing your spirit rather than sitting on it, but I am so sorry for the many times I fail. The truth is, you remind me in many ways of myself when I was little; Irrepressible and like a volcano of life, I never could understand why people were constantly telling me to sit still, to calm down, to stop fidgeting. And so I will keep working on it, keep remembering, keep trying to encourage your spirit rather than stifle it.
As a strange juxtaposition to your wild nothing-can-stop-me passion, you are one of the most sensitive and observant people I have ever met You can read people's emotions and reactions like a book and are more socially aware of dynamics in a roomful of people than almost all the adults I know. As an example, when you were about ten months old, you used to know exactly how to make me helpless with laughter and you would literally string me along, waiting til my laughter died down then doing it again to get me started all over. Often i catch you just watching me and my reactions and i know you are taking in every detail. You have the most incredible memory I've ever seen, remembering small details and smells from three years ago.
You are irrepressibly curious and often have to learn things by trying them, again very much like your mama! You have a vivid worlds-without-borders imagination that surprises me all the time, your only limitations being whether Anahla wants to go along with the way you want to play the game. Often you struggle with not being able to control a situation but you are learning to live and let live and allow others to have their own ideas and opinions.
You are just beautiful and hilarious and an atom-bomb of energy and I love every bit of of you more than you can possibly understand. I hope i can be a mama worthy of your spirit!
I love you!
